My Exclusive Interview with Bigfoot

I received a phone call during dinner last night.  I assumed the caller must have been one of my favorite cryptids:  the legendary Sasquatch!  I took the opportunity to ask the big guy a few questions and try to get a sense of what it must be like to walk in those giant shoes.

Given the shrinking area of natural places on earth and the encroachment of more and more humans into your habitat, How have you remained so elusive?

Bigfoot:  Mr. Wagner, we're calling with important information that could save you over 10 percent on..

Just answer the question.

Bigfoot:  ...sorry?  I am calling with an opportunity to save up to 10 percent on your landscaping and...

How do you avoid being photographed in a world where everyone has a camera in their phone, and satellites are constantly mapping out every nook and cranny of our planet?

Bigfoot:  You should know that we specialize in both weed and pest control and have a customer satisfaction rating of...


Are you related to the Yeti of the Himalayan Mountains?

Bigfoot:  We also have some great new products...

How about Nessie from Loch Ness? 

Bigfoot: ...huh?

Ha ha...Just kidding.  So I just have one more question.  Do you prefer Bigfoot or Sasquatch?
Hello? ...Hello?