Salt and Pepper: Page 1

Here's a semi-finalized page from my contribution to "Boo!" Check out the process and progress of some amazing creators here: www.illopond.com

Bedroom Eyes

One crouched in a tenebrous corner of the bedroom. The thing's arms and legs were too long and it wrapped them around its scrawny body. Its bulbous head was covered in tiny bumps and valleys. It was the color, texture, and smell of rotten cauliflower. Two glossy black marble eyes were fixed on the end of fleshy stalks that protruded from each side of the head.  Four more beady eyes glared forward into the darkness.  A huge gaping mouth filled with needle teeth stretched across the whole lower half of the foot wide head.  It was tangled mess on the verge of pouncing.

 And it cackled. 

Twenty-Three

In a small quiet house, in a small quiet town

A boy found the body of old lady Brown

The people had called the woman a witch

And they said her soul was as black as pitch

But she couldn't cast spells - she knew no magic

Her secrets were more sinister, more evil,  more tragic

She knew a great deal about science and medicine

And poison and hallucinogens to make your head spin

Twenty-three husbands in twenty-three years

Every single one had mysteriously disappeared

And, can you guess what they found in the basement dirt?

That's right, some jars, a pipe, and an old flannel shirt

Oh yeah, and twenty-three skulls

Purple Cthulhu: The Politically Correct Super Villain

Purple Cthulhu released a recorded statement to several media outlets late last night.  The speech was widely praised for it's non-discriminatory and politically correct language.  In his trademark raspy, gurgling grunts, Purple Cthulhu was very clear about his loathing for each and every human being on Earth.  In a touching moment of unbiased maniacal rambling, Purple Cthulhu said, 

"Purple Cthulhu does not care about your race, religion, or sex.  Purple Cthulhu does not care about your wealth, education, or your social status.  Purple Cthulhu does not care about your history,  your region, or your politics.  You all crawl like bugs!  Purple Cthulhu laughs at your simple monkey brains.  Ha Ha Ha!  I will drive you all insane! I will crush all humans!..except for the Moody Blues.  I just like them..."

Me too, Purple Cthulhu.  Me too.

Spawn of Cthulhu

The Cthulhu's are proud to announce the arrival of their first indescribable monstrosity.  They are registered at Baby's R Us, Pottery Barn Kids, and Target, or you can just sign over your mind and soul now. Bwaa Ha Hahaha Ha Ha!

Fan Mail!

I received a piece of fan mail! There was also a small figurine with the letter. It's not the best craftsmanship I've ever seen, but it's the thought that counts. It's moments like this that make all the years of hard work and sacrifice worth while. I wonder how they found my address and then put the package under my pillow without waking me.

Illustration Friday: Muddy

Zombies love the soft muddy ground following a rain storm. They also love brains.

The Testimony of Sheriff Lewis Brown

"The Dundersford widow came to me with a story so absurd, that it sounded like it came right out of one of those silly old tales by them Grimm brothers. As a matter of fact, I remember telling the old bird to sell off those last few cows and go into the business of writing scary stories for the local tots!

Well, Mrs. Dundersford said that that lunatic up on the hill, Frankenstein, was up to no good. She called him “Doctor” and said that he was up there playing with dead folks and parts of dead folks. She said he was making the dead come to life!

So I says to myself, Frankenstein may be a lunatic, but he ain’t no doctor. If he’s got cadaver’s up there, he didn’t get ‘em legally. The widow probably just saw the nut playing with some store mannequins or something. Who knows what that weirdo is into, but I told her I’d go up to check it out, anyways.

So of course, it was dark and stormy as I headed up to question Frankenstein. I arrived at his door, soaked to the bone, and slammed the giant knocker three times. There was more lightning than I’d ever seen. Finally the door creaked open and Frankenstein peeked out. "Let me in, you fool!" I tried to shout through chattering teeth. I showed my badge and he reluctantly pulled the door open.

I told him what the Dundersford widow had reported to me. Frankenstein looked shocked at first. Then his mouth curled into a frenzied toothy grin. “That crazy old bat,” he laughed. “she’s got it all wrong! None of them have come to life...yet. But, tonight”, he laughed some more. “TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT!”

Frankenstein grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the stairs. “Come up, Come up!” he shouted. “Witness the miracle! Witness my genius!” We entered an upstairs bedroom. It was disgusting. The room was covered with blood and gristle and flies. A vaguely human shaped monstrosity laid across the bed. Body parts were not so skillfully sewn together like some sort of puzzle from hell. Wind and rain blew in from the open window above the bed. A long and twisted metal wire wound in through the window and wrapped around one of the bed posts.

Well, the next few minutes were kind of a blur. I remember a flash of lightning and a static crackle across the bed. Then the thing starts to move! It sits up and looks at me.

"Daddy?" it says.

I was down those stairs and out the door in a flash. I ran down the hill and I turned to see if the thing was following. It was almost right on top of me! It reached for me with it's decaying yellow-green hands when, suddenly, it was attacked from the side by the biggest derned wolf I've ever seen. I stared in shock for a moment, then turned and ran home. I heard howling all night long.

I couldn't believe it. I'd been saved by one of those good-fer-nuthin, pain-in-my-ear wolves!"

.- Lewis Brown (May 12, 1954)

One month later, under a full moon, Sheriff Brown was killed by a werewolf/Frankenstein monster hybrid.

the end

Animal Paintings -> Ghost Stories (???)

These are all 16" x 20" acrylic on canvas. I like paintings with thick, textural brush and knife strokes. When they are hung on a wall, they can seem to be almost alive. They change as the highlights and shadows move depending the light source and the angle at which the painting is viewed.

There are at least two creepy stories about paintings coming to life. "The Road Virus Heads North" by Stephen King is about a writer (in a Stephen King story...no way!) who buys a painting at a yard sale. The figure in the painting seems to slowly turn towards him and he doesn't look friendly!

"The Road Virus..." is not too subtly inspired by M.R. James' "The Mezzotint". Here's a link to Librivox's mp3 recordings of M. R. James' Ghost Stories of an Antiquary which includes "The Mezzotint". All of these stories are great and Peter Yearsley is probably the best reader over there. If you haven't had a chance to explore public domain literature, I recommend checking out Librivox.org. Lot's of good stuff for free.

Banshee

The banshee has the appearance of a young woman. It is sickly thin creature and it’s pale skin is nearly translucent. The banshee has a long skinny neck and long, boney arms and legs. It wears a raggedy, tattered dress. The long reddish-brown hair blows constantly even in the calmest air. The banshee fades in and out of sight as it roams the countryside, it's head down and stricken with grief.

One may feel pity for this poor, pathetic creature. Until they hear it scream. The banshee’s scream can be heard, usually following a death, from over ten miles away. Imagine a crow’s call, a bagpipe, and a screaming woman combined at ear-splitting decibels and you'll have an idea of how terrifying the banshee's call sounds .


To actually see a banshee in mid-scream is horrifying. It’s hair stands straight out from the head. It’s skeleton seems to almost glow through the pale skin. The sunken eyes flash an eerie yellow and it’s jaw drops allowing the gaping mouth to open incredibly wide. The banshee’s whole body locks into a rigor mortis curl through-out the scream.

Returning Charlie

I don't understand the appeal of celebrity gossip or celebrity worship. All the wasted time and money producing and consuming these fluff news shows, magazines, websites, and loser reality "stars"... I just don't get it. Why should a celebrity or pseudo-celebrity's opinion carry any weight? It drives me up the wall to hear the latest "informed" political view from some nose-in-the-air princess from Hollywood. And this is where an awful lot of Americans get their news. Egad! Athletes, actors, writers, and musicians are entertainers, and I love them for that. Interviews about their craft, influences, and entertaining personal stories can be interesting to watch, read, or listen to. I don't want or need their slanted, out-of-touch world views, their scandals, nor do I care about their shallow club-hopping lifestyle.

Sorry about the rant, but it gets me to my point.

All this Tiger Woods stuff over the past few weeks is a perfect example of our culture's obsession with celebrity. I did, at least, get one thing out of this over-saturated "news" story. It reminded me of one of my old story ideas. Here's the gist of it.

RETURNING CHARLIE

June 12, 2006.

Jenny suspected the affair. Charlie came home late. Jenny slammed the pan into Charlie’s head. He fell. He bled. Jenny could not find a pulse. She was scared. She decided that she would sink the body in the lake and call the police to file a missing person report.

Charlie’s body was sprawled across the kitchen floor. Jenny covered it with a blanket and pulled the kitchen shades down. She changed out of her blood spattered clothes and went to the all-night SuperStore for some murder cover-up supplies. When Jenny returned home, Charlie was gone. Jenny hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in a long, long time.

Great Uncle Boris

I was telling my daughter a bedtime story a few weeks ago with Dr. Frankenstein and his monster as the villains. She liked the story, so last weekend I asked her if she wanted to watch Frankenstein the movie. I thought she would probably get bored within a few minutes, but she loved it! We immediately watched Bride of Frankenstein. Now, of course, she wants more and I just happen to own the Frankenstein Legacy Collection, which also includes Son of Frankenstein, Ghost of Frankenstein, and House of Frankenstein. (None of which I've had time to watch yet , so we can experience them together for the first time.) There probably aren't many four year old girls who like black and white horror movies from the 30's and 40's. But there's one for sure, and I'm lucky to know her!

Missing Mona

The morning was hazy and the sun wouldn’t break the horizon for at least an hour. It took effort to breathe in the hot sticky air. It smelled like mushrooms and earthworms. Everything was wet. My head pounded. I was parched and the world tilted this way and that.

The sky was grey but it was a luminous grey. It was actually quite bright, but all color seemed dull and muted, washed out. Last night was a blur. I remember leaving the bar, but how did I get out here? Where is out here? There were two small shed-like buildings surrounded by hilly fields with pockets of trees. And silence. There was a field road that was all mud and puddles. The road passed over a large cave-like opening to some sort of drainage system. A small and shallow stream trickled into it.

I saw an arm reach out from the culvert. It’s palm was up and the index finger curled up and down in a “come here” motion. I needed to run, but the world spun and I had no idea which direction to go, anyway. I walked towards the opening.

An old iron grate was broken through and pieces of it hung from the opening like needle teeth rotting from concrete gums. I ducked into the culvert and called out to whoever was beckoning me. I splashed through the ankle deep water at the gaping entrance. The glow from the sky illuminated a hand floating palm up in the water. This was the first part of her that I saw. It bent at the wrist and my eyes followed the arm to the mostly submerged body. Though she was obviously dead there were no signs of decay on her pristine skin. She was only partially clothed, just a black t-shirt that read “Gabba, Gabba, Hey” in bold white. Her claw hand fingertips and one knee were all that broke the surface of the crystal clear water. Much more of the body would have been above the eight inches of water but the soft mud had sucked the body down several inches.

I leaned in towards her face. Her eyes were blank and blue-grey. I was overwhelmed with grief. This girl was my age. She was somebody’s daughter, somebody’s friend, somebody’s lover. The world was still spinning and my skull felt like it was about to split in two. I threw up. Bits of vomit mingled with the clouds of mud that I had stirred up stepping through the water. I felt even worse, like I had violated this clean final resting place. I looked at her face again. Her eyes stared straight up through the water then darted towards me. We stared into each others eyes. At that moment, I knew that I would share her fate.

How's that for upbeat?

Oh By Golly, Have a Holly Jolly Halloween This Year

Modern Halloween: -Trick or Treat in the day time! -Trick or Treat on a weekend around Halloween. (Luckily Halloween actually falls on a Saturday this year). -Trick or Treat in the mall? -Drunk adults with "Sexy - fill in the blank" costumes.

Not quite the same as when I was a kid, but we will still have fun. Halloween is also my boy's birthday. He turns one tomorrow. We're having family over for a party and trick or treating. I think every major Wizard of Oz character will be represented. Then maybe a good horror flick. I'm thinking Frankenstein or The Wolfman.

Also, a shout out to Matt, Kathe, Dale, Jordan, Gina, and Marq. I appreciate your support and comments with my art life. Trying to make some kind of career out of artwork is a hard transition. In the years leading to success, it's nice to know that my artwork is at least being seen. Miss you guys.

A Monster's Favorite Time of the Year

I love Halloween. Horror movies, monsters, and candy are a year round obsession for me. This is the time of year when these things are everywhere. Horror Geek Fun!

Here are some scenes or trailers from five of my favorite horror movies.

Jacob's Ladder: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0kW6xuxtPU

The Innocents: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmwJ-IB6ceY

The Devil's Backbone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUhHxGmFyus

Frailty: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKFi3owPUmg

Creature from the Black Lagoon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM1o1xe5FGE

Zombie Has The Blues

Why? Because it is Monday.

I started working on Cow 158 this weekend, but I won't have time to finish it before it's due date. I will finish it, though. It's a pretty cool start.

The time I have for working on art will mostly be devoted to an upcoming show for one of my bands. I'm working on gig posters / flyers and t-shirts. We haven't played together in a while, but practice has been good. We are thinking of recording the show to release as a live disc. (which could be another fun packaging project.) We'll see how it goes.

Scaring the Beans Out of Kids

In the cupboard under the sink

Lives a terrible bloody thing

Call him BloodyBones
Call him Rawhead
Either way you’ll end up dead

Covered in hair and bits of bone

He waits as still as a stone

Some say he looks like a decaying dog

Others say a scabbed-over hog

BloodyBones, BloodyBones

Covered in sores

BloodyBones, BloodyBones

Open the door

Today is the day

That BloodyBones will have his way

I adapted the poem above from an old American folk tale. We have a long standing tradition of scaring kids throughout our history. Classic fables, nursery rhymes, and fairy tales by Aesop, Hans Christian Andersen, the Brothers Grimm, and even Mother Goose are full of horrific images. Halloween is one of the most popular holidays for children. Movies, folklore, cartoons, books, comics, and theme parks are full of monsters, villains, and other "bad guys".

Morals and safety are often given as the reason for such horrific tales, but I think some adults just like to scare kids. When I was young, I had an uncle who bashed through a cornfield in a werewolf mask and it scared the crap out of me. An older cousin told me the story of "Thump, Drag". Older family members seem to be full of terrifying and/or hilariously inappropriate stories for children. Looking back, the things that scared me most as a kid are some of my favorite memories.

I think horror is fascinating to children because they realize that they are not being talked down to. Of course, I don't condone stories with depravity, excessive gore, or other themes that can truly confuse and/or upset a child. All children have a different tolerance to fear and as long as that line isn't crossed, a scary villain can really spice up a story. The good guy/gal always wins in the end (in children's stories, anyway), and life goes on.

The first questions my daughter asks when I'm telling a story is: "Is there a bad guy?", "What does he/she/it look like?"," When is the bad guy gonna be here?" The "bad guy" has been showing up earlier and earlier in our stories. I'm cool with that.

I have a plan to eventually do a week or more of posts about the horror in Walt Disney films. I just need to find some time to create a series of paintings based on Disney villains. So you can expect that in July of 2013.

Mrs. Brobender's so-called "basilisk"

This is my submission for C.O.W. #153: lean, mean, and green.

Mrs. Brobender's so-called "basilisk"

The man was executed for the rape and murder of thirteen women. His wife had stood by him throughout the trial. Now she was afraid and alone. She remained on their small farm but the work proved to be too much for the poor old woman so she tried to sell off the animals.

No one was interested in these”cursed” animals and they quickly began to die off. Finally, all that was left was a plump healthy hen. It had remained so fat by eating the other animals as they died. Now the old woman brought the hen into the house and shared her bed with it.

On the anniversary of the man's execution, the hen began pushing out egg after egg. As it came to the thirteenth egg, the hen squawked and squealed. The egg it was trying to push out was enormous. It screamed like a woman. The old woman was terrified.

Finally, the egg emerged. It was gigantic- the size of a man’s head. It was green and brownish pink and covered in lumpy black warts. It bore the image of her husband’s head. The chicken, which had nearly split in two, looked the old woman in the eyes and died.

The egg immediately began to roll and shake. It built in momentum and slammed into the bedroom wall. The “basilisk” emerged. The tiny creature began to grow. It ate the old woman.

The whole story is a bunch of rubbish, of course. The creature was clearly a common cockatrice.

Classic Tales of Terror

Cthulhu

Can't find any time to read? I hear you, brothers and sisters. I've found that audio books can help. I've listened to a ton of them over the years. I listen in the car, while doing chores around the house, while I'm painting , or any time I'm doing some no-brainer task. I'm also lucky enough to have times at work that don't require strict concentration. In other words, I've caught up on a lot of reading while still getting the day to day stuff done. The library system where I live is a great resource for audio books. I don't waste alot of time perusing the shelves. I request a book that I want online and it's shipped to the library of my choice.

Librivox.org is an awesome site. http://librivox.org/newcatalog/ They have a huge catalog of mp3s that you can download for free. It's all public domain literature. Not all the readers are great(some definitely are!) but most are tolerable.

Here are some recommendations that I found at Librivox.org:

• The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
• Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
• Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad (this was adapted by Francis Ford Coppola in 1979's Apocalypse Now)
• The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Short stories by:

• Algernon Blackwood
• Ambrose Bierce
• Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
• M.R. James (especially Ghost Stories of an Antiquary read by Peter Yearsley)
• Edgar Allen Poe
• H.P. Lovecraft (where our friend Cthulhu comes from)
• Saki (H.H. Munro)

....and so much more! Do some digging. It's worth the time.

Ting Tang Wolla Wolla Bing Bang

Did I just hear on the radio-Motorhead is coming to town with Reverend Horton Heat opening-weird, cool, yeah! Here's what I submitted for Creature of the Week over at Conceptart.org: #152 half a pound of evil.

Whisper demons are supernatural creatures that are often kept as familiars by the “witch doctors” of the deepest jungles of Africa. They are vicious little monsters and are used to carry out the witch doctors’ curses. Their method of attack is to whisper in their victim’s ear as he/she sleeps. It is not known what exactly they say, but it causes the victim to scream and tear their own face and throat apart. There is no record of any survivor of a whisper demon attack.